#92

hey loves how are you today?

ugh my so called holiday is almost over. only 2 weeks and i have to go back to reality of college life and goodbye home sweet home where there's food 24/7. and i admit that i eat A LOT here. really. my family keep pressure me to eat more and more because they said im too skinny, i look like a poor little girl that never eat. but i do eat in Malaysia, but maybe not that much and not that often. but anyways maybe im a little bit too skinny, my bf also said that i lost weight too much. ha who's false is that?? hehehhe
i remember when i broke up with him couple months ago, i lost appetite and all i did is smoking and smoking and sometimes eat and when i eat, i feel like throwing up. from 45 kg to 40 kg that time i remember. then i realize i lost weight too much when we met one day and he said i look really small. after that i tried to eat more and gain weight again. then things getting better, i have my appetite again, i went back to Jakarta and i start to eat well again. maybe i gain weight again that time, but i never measure my weight at home. after that i went back to Malaysia and i try to eat more again and even after im back together with him, i still cant gain weight. huhuh how come?? we often eat late at nite, then sleep afterwards that should make me gain more weight and have fat here and there and everywhere. anybody know whats wrong with meee? now my weight is 41 kg, before i got back to Jakarta was 39 kg. awful.
i even haven't seen 43 kg again when i measure my weight. duh duh duh. i need to gain weight! my Mom said i swim more than i eat, so thats why. hehehe i dont know about that.

enough blabbering about my body weight, now i am starting to worry about my result this semester. i knoooooowww its still holiday time but hey, i cant keep my mind off of my result! im sure i didnt do well on my finals, the finals are nightmares. i thought i studied enough but when i saw the questions, i really wanna kick the lecturer. what a waste of time studying... study or not study, it will be the same, i cant answer most of the questions. fuuucccckkkkkk
and some of my friends are taking short course here during holiday to be prepared for the final year project. me? i did nothing. oh i feel useless =(
i fill my days with sleeping, eating, watching tv, and going out with friends. hey i met my highschool friends yesterday and we're having so much fun!
laughs + good friends + drinks + cigarettes + nice place = great saturday nite. cant wait to spend time with them again haha =D
oh and the magic happens here for me and Meiram. the last time he went back to Kazakh, we cant communicate through hp at all. we cant send sms to each other i dont know why and how come its so hard like that, we only can communicate through emails, and when he went online, im offline or vice versa. but now we can send sms and call to each other. yiippeeeyy!! cant wait to see him again after this holiday! hihihi.
well now im off to bed readers,
i have a massive pain because of my toothache. dammit.
and the medicine i just took makes me really sleepy
so i'll see ya all again on my next post
kiss ya,

smooch!