#96

yihaaaaaaaaaaaaaa another 2 more days and we'll see each other again! ihihi cant wait cant wait! i really miss Meiraaaaaaaaaaaamm!! =D

i called him this afternoon and he said he'll be back tomorrow at 25, not 27 like he planned before. hihi it means that i can meet him earlier than i thought. oh, that made my day =)

and there's a sad news, my laptop is gone, rest in peace.

the 3 years old toshiba satelite L100 finally off, forever.

i dont know whats wrong with him, just suddenly went off, the power is failure, the booting up system is more than worse. so thats it. our relationship for 3 years finished.

im really sad, he has been my really best friend during this college life for almost more than 3 years. has been a true friend and accompany me making lots of projects, programming, designing, watching movie, and a lot more. ugh im really sad =((

now im using my father's laptop for a while until maybe i go back to jakarta and buy a new one or maybe until i can save enough money and buy me a new one, my own. sounds good huh? but saving money is really my BIG problem. i tend to spend money in useless things or things that i didnt plan to buy for example online shopping (this is a true evil) or lingerie. =p

i dont know why but i always attracted to buying new lingerie everytime i passed by the counter and it will be more tempting when i see DISCOUNT sign on the counter. ahahaha i should stop on being a lingerie fetish

and during my laptopless days, i didnt have anything to do beside sleep, eat and watching dvds. and i just finished watching 2 old korean series. oh yes i LOOOOOOOVEEEE korean drama. and i dont know why i feel like i really wanna watch full house again. and i fall in love with rain, again. hahaha. who doesnt? he has the lips i always want to kiss!!

see this, the lips scream KISS ME!! i swear.. rain oh rain..

(source)

hihi who can resist this really cute face? oh i almost forgot how i love rain in full house that time, reminiscing good old korean drama is really great! heheh even im laptopless, i can still having fun. and oh, i watched movie and keep eating and eating while watching, and surprisingly i gain weight! yeah now i reach 42kg. huhu hope the weight measurement in my house is not error because when i measure at campus clinic, its only 40kg =(

oh whatever, im having a rain bi fever again, for a while maybe, in 2 days im having Meiram fever of course =p

bye now! smooooooooooooochhhhhhhhhh rain!

#95

cant wait cant wait,
another 2 weeks then we'll see each other again yay! =D

hope everything is still the same,
i hate changes, especially the bad ones.

uh, how r u readers?
it's been 3 days since i start my college life again, to be honest, im not ready to study again! huhu
going to classes again, wake up in the morning, have to prepare what to wear today, etc etc.
i still want holidaaaaaaaaayyyyyy
its too short 2 weeks duh.
but what to do? i have to live with it huhu
and i just checked my final results, alhamdulillah i pass all my subjects magically!
im a bit surprised i can pass data structures and algorithms since i remember i cant to the final questions properly, and my ethical hacking got B! hahaha i thought if i can pass at least i will get C because i totally guessing the answers during finals. well maybe im lucky! hehe=p
well just i wish i'll have another luck this semester, but of course i will try to do my best! ehehe

******
jakarta, june 2009. FUN

yet i have more to add, but bye for now. hehe =p

#93

i have never thought i will spend almost 1.5 years of my university life with someone like you, and still counting
i never like someone like this before
i am not afraid of liking you at the first place
i let my self drown in you
i remember the days when we're not talking at all, just sharing smiles and waving hands at each other
i cant stop smilling those days
i am still smilling now everytime i think about those days
i am truly grateful i met you here
i think we could meet anywhere, if we're meant to be together, we'll meet, no matter where we are
i never thought i could be loved by someone like you
i lost my self confident sometimes
i often think that i am stupid, i am ugly, i am not beautiful, i am far from perfect
i lost my ability to have faith in myself sometimes
i get it back because of you
i feel beautiful inside and out when you said i am
i know perfection is near me, when i am with you, when we spend time together
i admit i am scared to fall in love, with anyone, not just with you
i held you in my arms, i touched you softly, i kissed you gently, that time i know, i fall in love
i dont remember exactly how, when, or why i love you
i just know that i do.
i repeat, i do love you
i love loving you
i hate you sometimes, there are times when i really really feel i hate you, i even dont want to talk to you
i forgot that i hate you when you smiles at me and asks me not to worry. everything is fine
i love you again, more.
i couldnt ask for more than having you for a long long time
i know we might not be together for the rest of our lives
i see the boundaries between us
i am just living this moment with you, making tons of great memories with you
i am thanking God for that, it is enough.
i love you, love
i always will.
i fall in love with you everyday, and i never get bored out of it
i will miss you in 3 years time, we might be living our lives separately far away from each other that time
i hope i am strong enough, and i hope you have the best life ever later.
but for now, lets be together, make the best of it and never stop loving each other
i love you Meiram, as always.

#92

hey loves how are you today?

ugh my so called holiday is almost over. only 2 weeks and i have to go back to reality of college life and goodbye home sweet home where there's food 24/7. and i admit that i eat A LOT here. really. my family keep pressure me to eat more and more because they said im too skinny, i look like a poor little girl that never eat. but i do eat in Malaysia, but maybe not that much and not that often. but anyways maybe im a little bit too skinny, my bf also said that i lost weight too much. ha who's false is that?? hehehhe
i remember when i broke up with him couple months ago, i lost appetite and all i did is smoking and smoking and sometimes eat and when i eat, i feel like throwing up. from 45 kg to 40 kg that time i remember. then i realize i lost weight too much when we met one day and he said i look really small. after that i tried to eat more and gain weight again. then things getting better, i have my appetite again, i went back to Jakarta and i start to eat well again. maybe i gain weight again that time, but i never measure my weight at home. after that i went back to Malaysia and i try to eat more again and even after im back together with him, i still cant gain weight. huhuh how come?? we often eat late at nite, then sleep afterwards that should make me gain more weight and have fat here and there and everywhere. anybody know whats wrong with meee? now my weight is 41 kg, before i got back to Jakarta was 39 kg. awful.
i even haven't seen 43 kg again when i measure my weight. duh duh duh. i need to gain weight! my Mom said i swim more than i eat, so thats why. hehehe i dont know about that.

enough blabbering about my body weight, now i am starting to worry about my result this semester. i knoooooowww its still holiday time but hey, i cant keep my mind off of my result! im sure i didnt do well on my finals, the finals are nightmares. i thought i studied enough but when i saw the questions, i really wanna kick the lecturer. what a waste of time studying... study or not study, it will be the same, i cant answer most of the questions. fuuucccckkkkkk
and some of my friends are taking short course here during holiday to be prepared for the final year project. me? i did nothing. oh i feel useless =(
i fill my days with sleeping, eating, watching tv, and going out with friends. hey i met my highschool friends yesterday and we're having so much fun!
laughs + good friends + drinks + cigarettes + nice place = great saturday nite. cant wait to spend time with them again haha =D
oh and the magic happens here for me and Meiram. the last time he went back to Kazakh, we cant communicate through hp at all. we cant send sms to each other i dont know why and how come its so hard like that, we only can communicate through emails, and when he went online, im offline or vice versa. but now we can send sms and call to each other. yiippeeeyy!! cant wait to see him again after this holiday! hihihi.
well now im off to bed readers,
i have a massive pain because of my toothache. dammit.
and the medicine i just took makes me really sleepy
so i'll see ya all again on my next post
kiss ya,

smooch!

#91

“ I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

(source)

#90

im in jakartaaaaaaaaaaaaa wohooooooooooooo =D

and the long distance relationshit begins.
Jakarta, Indonesia - Aqtobe, Kazakhstan.

hope we'll be doing just fine =)