#89

truths, for me, hurt more than lies
but why am i so eager to know the truth?
just so i know then feel hurt or what?
nausea really comes through my brain, my heart, my lungs,
hell yea, then i pretend than i am fine but then i ask you for another cigarettes.

who the hell are you?

i cant even separate lies and truth anymore, i lost the ability.
i lost the sense of avoiding myself from getting to hate you more, more and a little bit more

please, me, stop it.
you know you can not take it any further than this.
just, stop.

and i can live happily under lies,
better?
umm.. yeah.

#88

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there."

(source)

oh, touchy.
noted this boyflen, and we'll be just fine =)


and by the way,

(source)

#87

hello readers, how are you?

it's been quite long time ya since i didnt post anything. hihihi

well its been a busy and hectic week, really.

the final exam week has started, and i am also in the middle of finding the perfect title for my final year project (FYP). the title i am planning to do is puppy adoption system, or a study of smarthome system for elderly or the talking blog with social agent. so far the only positive respond from the proposal i submitted is the study of smart home system for elderly. so maybe if anything goes well, i'll do this project.will let you know the updates soon hehehe.

oh yea, you noted, final year means i will graduate soon!

if everything goes as i planned, i will graduate on 2011 and will have the convocation on august 2011. what will i do after graduate? my father offer me to do master, maybe in Jakarta or Bandung but i dont really wanna do it. i mean, yea i wanna do master but not in Indonesia, maybe in Malaysia or Singapore after i can find job, i wish i can pay for my master tuition fee, its enough im digging my parents money. 

actually i also wanna get married mwahahahahaha =p

but the only candidate available rite now  to walk down the aisle with me is Meiram, which i also havent talk about future seriously with him, if i'll marry him after graduate, i'll have to follow him rite? and its either i go with him to Kazakhstan or follow him pursuing his master in UK. he really wants to go there. well i'll just follow the flow and let's see what will happen, mean while i have to struggle first with this final!

then why i go blogging? the answer is im sick already of staring on my computer networks notes, let me have a rest for a while. hihihi =p

for these couple days me and my friends have been visiting so many blog and websites about... cakes! cupcakes, baked cakes, non baked cakes, cookies, decorating cakes, anything! hehehe. and we really want to try every interesting recipes!

so far the only cake i can do is only cheesecake. i dont have oven to try other baked cakes hehe

and the rest meals or cooks i made are just ordinary recipes for dinner or lunch or anything but cakes is really interesting, no?

i made the oreo cheesecake when me and Meiram have our first year anniversary, and thank God he likes it and wants me to make another again =)

hmmm and i feel to share my successful cheescake. oh and ausi also already post in her blog about her cheesecake, check it. =)

mine is almost the same like hers, the differences are only mine using oreo and milk. 

well, here you go...

oreo cheesecake (no bake)

(i am not a professional photographer so dont complain about the pic =p)

cake base:

 * 60 gr oreo biscuit (without the filling)

*  35 gr unsalted butter

cake filling:

* 125 gr cream cheese (i use tatura milk brand) - room temperature

* 60 gr castor sugar

 (i dont like it too sweet so i use ony 40 gr, but it depends on your choice)

* 1 oreo biscuit (without the filling)

* 75 gr whipped cream (i use Qwip brand)

* 1/2 tbspoon gelatin powder

* 40 ml full cream milk (i use dutch lady brand)

* keep the oreo filling for addition into the cake filling

tools:

* spoon and tablespoon

* plastic bag

* rock or hard wood for crushing the biscuits

* rounded cake pan (i used ausi's, 12 cm diameter)

how to:

 first, make the base for the cake

1. put the oreo biscuits in a bowl

 2. crush the oreo biscuits by using the rock or hard wood covered with plastic

(or u can put the biscuits inside the plastic and bang it on the table 

until they crushed or any kind of crushing method hehe) 

3. melt the butter

4. mix well the melted butter and the crushed biscuits

5. put them all inside the rounded pan, press hard

6. chill in the fridge for at least 1 hour

next, make the filling

1. put the cream cheese and castor sugar in a bowl, 

beat using fork or spoon or whisk until smooth

2. add the oreo filling inside the bowl 

(i didnt use all, because it will be too sweet for me)

3. add whipped cream, beat again until mixed well

4. heat milk and gelatine in a pan

5. add heated milk and gelatine into the bowl, mix well

6. crush 1 biscuit of oreo and mix it into the bowl

7. spread them on the pan 

(make sure the base is already hard enough)

8. chill in the fridge, best leave it over night

9. voila, you have your own cheesecake =)

its really easy and i am sure you can do it, perhaps better than mine. you can add whipped cream as toping or fruit or melted chocolate bar, or anything.

i also want to try again another recipe for cheesecake, i still have the ingridients heheh i just want to modify the topping or being creative with the cheesecake. i'll let you know once i succeeded made one. hihihi =p

aaahh this is why i am wondering why i take IT studies instead of culinary arts hahaha

but i'll just have to live with my choice and make the most of it. 

wish me all the best luck for my finals!! 

kiss ya later sweet readers! =)

#86

God, that man can make me laugh

can i keep him for life?

yayaya? =)

#85

i hate waiting.

really, i do hate waiting

once i got into a big fight with Meiram and i even asked for break up because he kept me waiting for.. well i dont know what, what a waste of time and actually i dont wanna talk about it, too upsetting =p

but then im glad we didnt broke up that time 

cause after that we're getting better and try not to do the same mistakes again.

now he kept me waiting again.

i made cheesecake for him cause he mentioned what he wanted to eat these days.

he misses his Mom's cook, well i am not his mother hehehe so i asked him for anything else,

then he said he wants BBQ chicken and cheesecake for the dessert.

i can do both, so i bought the chicken and already finished make the cheesecake.

but again, we (me and my cheesecake) have to wait for him to come and eat together.

Meiram said he'll be back home soon yesterday from putrajaya because one of his betsfriend is getting married and he was asked to be the best man, huhu i cant go because i have the crazybabik data structures exam at friday nite. theeeen i wait for him to come back, but he didnt came until 3am so i thought its better if he stay at cyber.

then i thought he'll be home by today but his fuckin phone was off since this afternoon. then after few hours he sent sms from his friend's phone that he is still in KL. oh he just called me and said his friend is having a birthday party and maybe he'll be back tonite or tomorrow...

yadayadayadayadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my cheesecake will end up in trash can i think =(

but you know what, no matter how upset am i to him, i still miss him and hoping that he'll be home soon and spend the remaining weekend together, just to have some quality time. silly huh?

so then now im wearing the t-shirt that he wore on the day before the wedding, he came to my house at nite and he still havent change his shirt from class so then he borrowed my t-shirt, he wore the only thing that can fit him nicely, my super-ultra-gigantic-size-bright-pink-with-stupid fish picture-on-it tshirt, im wearing the t-shirt cause it still has his smell, i really like his smell. hihihi =p 

(i forgot how can i have this big size t-shirt, but its so comfortable so i wear it for sleeping hehe)

wanna see how idiot i look like on this t-shirt? 

(noted: the t-shirt fits him, well a bit too short actually)

now you can imagine our huge difference in body size, 

im just so petite and he is a giant =p

Meir, jump to my hug now!

***********

(edited)

here's the kind of waiting that i like: 

waiting to get 50 pops in restaurant city =p

finally i can get it. no hack. no magic. hehe

#84

hello dear,
i am so glad the busy week finally over and i can enjoy my lovely weekend without worries!
i even spent hours of blogwalking, browsing, facebook, restaurant city! hahah this game is quite addictive but not as much as i like to play pet society like before, ps already boring and because my magics cant work anymore, i found it not challenging and.. yea i just never touch it again these days, poor pet Meiram he must be dead by now since i didnt wash him and feed him ehehe =p
and theen.. i landed here after i saw it on my blogger friend xanabioticx
and i found the website very interesting and i cant stop guessing the answers! great web and mission!
meanwhile i also found this blog, eve which is also interesting, she just got back from a trip, i always interested in blogs that tells how exiting their last trip was, where they went, what happened during the trip, etc. well, i also love to have some trip with some good friends to some of great beaches! why i said beaches? well because beaches simply caught my attention haha i dont know why i always have eyes and very exited about beach. some of my friends are planning to go to Bangkok or Hongkong or Macau next mid break on august, seems interesting huh all those places? i do interested of course, where there are good friends, appealing shopping spot, nice foods and great places to visit, i always want to go, but... (there's always but) im saving my money for another great adventure involving beach, snorkeling, sand, great view, things that make my eyes addicted to see them over and over again.
im waiting for the next trip to buy some adventures and great experiences =)
oh i want to do these questions from eve's blog, she didnt tag me tough, but i just have too much spare time now and feeling of doing useless things =p
so here it goes:

What is your current obsession?
Maldives island. nothing more

What is your weirdest obsession?
hmm.... get married in young age? hahah =p

What are you wearing today?
tanktop, boxer

What’s for dinner today?
aaaayy.. dont know yet.. i just made cheesecake for me and Meiram (if he'll come tonite)
so i only know what will be for dessert =p

Makeup kit you cant live without?
just lipbalm

What would you like to learn to do?
learn so many foreign languages, how to cook like a pro, and to manage flowers

What’s the last thing you bought?
water

What are you listening to right now?
hot chip - sensual seduction

What is your favorite weather?
windy, but not too windy, just enough wind to make day feels not so hot

What is your most challenging goal right now?
reach CGPA minimum 3.2, i did awful last sem =(

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
she didnt tag me i just feel like doing it to fill my spare time =p

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
New York

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
moneeeeeeyyyyy lots of moneeeyyy hahahaha =D

What would you like to get rid of?
assignments

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
MALDIVES ISLAND FOSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Which language do you want to learn?
spanish, kazakh, korean, russian, turkish. hehe so many..

What do you look for in a friend?
honesty

Who do you want to meet in person?
jude law, rape me

What’s your favorite type of music?
any. really. just as long as it sounds good in my ears

What’s the favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
hmmm.. they all my fave =p

What is your dream job?
writer

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
shoppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing =D

Favorite designer?
ha, i just searching for wedding dresses and kebaya designs again and again (dont ask why) and completely amazed by Anne Avante's design, so currently, she's the one on my mind rite now

Fashion pet peeve?
britney spears

Do you admire anyone’s style?
Blake Lively as in Serena Van der woodsen, i admire her hair haha

Describe your personal style!
just ordinary and i wear anything i feel like wearing =p

Last magazine you read?
cleo

Last book You read?
Jakarta undercover 2

When was the last time you cried?
last nite during watching closer. cheating is the biggest sin in a relationship, yes? hehe

now i tag you all who read this, if you feel like doing it, please just do. come waste your time! =p
oh dont forget to add your own question after the last question you got from here
have a great time!